Yours truly...

Fragments of my past.

As much as I seem like the carefree happy-go-lucky girl, I wasn’t this way a few years ago. In fact I was the opposite then. I was very emotional, almost depressed and hell bent on destroying myself in order to forget the pain I faced then. At that time, I went drinking, partying and clubbing about 5 times a week. I smoked, I got drunk and I got horribly wasted.

After that episode, I resolved to be a better, happier me. And I would think I have done it. I am happier now, I take things easily and I think I have grown a lot.

But somehow or rather, a few days ago, I felt a certain twinge. I felt horribly emotional. It’s like I was back in the past. Feeling like what I felt then, unhappy, miserable, my life was dark and tormented. Nothing brought me joy. It’s almost like a flashback. I couldn’t shake off the feeling and I felt really horrible.

I never want to feel this way again. I don’t want to feel the heartache I felt everyday then.

And I won’t. I won’t live my life like that ever again.

Comments

  1. Hey, feeling emotional is normal. Just don’t bottle it up. Vent it, cry, whatever. So long as you don’t self-harm and you know where the feelings are coming from, you should be able to ride them out.

    And yeah, put it all in perspective. 🙂

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  2. *squeeze* You’ll get used to it… and eventually, some things will cease to bother you like it did, a few years ago.

    We all grow and we all learnt things the hard way… but that is how we truly experience life, I guess.

    All the ups and downs will level out at some point… Cheer up soon ok?

    The other day you really didn’t seem yourself. =[

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  3. We are human, so we are all susceptible to emotions. Its normal to feel pain or sad when you’re unhappy or lost in life. Most importantly, we must pick ourselves up and love ourselves again.

    Its good to hear that you’re determined to be happy and not go back to that depressed state again. *hugs* Your friends will always be there for you when you need them. 🙂

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  4. Hey Nad…… Whenever bad memories come to you, think about all the great stuff that has happened to you! Must let yourself know that you are not like what you are in the past, all that are just past events and also serve as a reminder that you should be even happier now! Cheer up my pal!

    P/s: please don’t cut your hair short. 🙂

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  5. Hello Nadia, Take care. Look to the bright side. It is the new year 2009…face it confidently Lots of new things coming up. The Lunar New Year coming too, enjoy yourself. You have lots of friends. Bath in their love and care. Catch you soon. You are always in our thoughts.Hugs and kisses:Ginny

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