As much as I seem like the carefree happy-go-lucky girl, I wasn’t this way a few years ago. In fact I was the opposite then. I was very emotional, almost depressed and hell bent on destroying myself in order to forget the pain I faced then. At that time, I went drinking, partying and clubbing about 5 times a week. I smoked, I got drunk and I got horribly wasted.
After that episode, I resolved to be a better, happier me. And I would think I have done it. I am happier now, I take things easily and I think I have grown a lot.
But somehow or rather, a few days ago, I felt a certain twinge. I felt horribly emotional. It’s like I was back in the past. Feeling like what I felt then, unhappy, miserable, my life was dark and tormented. Nothing brought me joy. It’s almost like a flashback. I couldn’t shake off the feeling and I felt really horrible.
I never want to feel this way again. I don’t want to feel the heartache I felt everyday then.
And I won’t. I won’t live my life like that ever again.