Apologies for the lack of entries, am currently facing some issues with my home broadband AND home phone line and have been internet-less for a while. Hoping this can be resolved ASAP! Have typed this entry on my phone thus the lack of pics.
I'll like to share some things that irritated me before and during the wedding.
- It's pretty understood that couples would check on their guests' availability before the wedding. Once they have given their FINAL confirmations, we will then send the printed invites. Confirmation of number of tables is done like 1 month before the wedding. Usually you can't modify drastically after that.
I had guests who backed out after receiving the invites despite confirming with me MANY TIMES before that. 2 weeks before the wedding, i got a "we can't make it" sms from a whole family despite confirmations earlier. Reasons given sounded like excuses too.
And mind you, these are couples who have had held their wedding before and should jolly well understand the trouble of confirming the number of tables AND table arrangements. Of course, there are reasons that are understandable like work and sudden worktrips but for some with barely a sorry... Wow. Much appreciated. Tsk.
- Self invitations. This is not a buffet or a clubbing session. If you put the couple on the spot by asking them if you are invited, don't be too hurt if they say no. Or would you rather we tell that dear old grand auntie of ours to give up her seat for you?
- Plus ones. Believe us, if we can extend an additional space for you, we will. I have gracious friends who totally understand about going alone and even made arrangements to "dump" their bfs at home and go together. Thank you, you and you.
- No shows. It would have been nice to at least inform or pass on the message that you are unable to attend. All it takes is a text. I can't believe it but i had to ask M a month after my wedding what happened to him. Thanks for letting me know, NOT!
- Sudden +1s. At 6pm, i had a text to ask if it's possible to bring two more guests. Like i said, it's not a clubbing party where there is a guestlist. When prodded, said person didn't share who were the guests, so i said no. I am not gonna shuffle my guestlist 1 hour before my dinner for people i do not know. Come on lah, where got people ask to bring guests and refuse to say who? AND.. Please do not do such a thing to a couple, 6pm, we were rushing to change, prepare for our tea ceremony and have no time to deal with this guessing game.
Another incident was when a friend suddenly brought a plus one cos she thought she rsvped for two. Please check your invite, and yes, your sms. I was MADE to go in before my entrance (-_-) to check on this because the hotel staff and my reception folks do not know who is that person. I don't blame them for asking me to check, cos seriously, how would they know right?
- Changing seats. The couple usually plan their table arrangements as best as they can. We usually plan to fit 10 a table. While they are some mixture of guests (there is no way possible to invite strictly in group of ten), we ensure that you are placed with someone you know. Trust me.
I had a guest who REFUSED to sit at her table cos apparently she didn't know ANYONE there. Okay, you VVIP. It's YOUR wedding and apparently where you sit is more important than anything else. Thankfully my bridesmaids rectified this. And yes, my table of 10 and 11 pax became 9 and 12 pax. Wedding couples would understand this situation.
To me, the pekchekness came from all of these human created drama. To other couples, maybe the angbaos were the main "issue" but to us, it was actually the unreasonable "demands". Well, all we can say is that you really can tell a person's true colours from this. And yes, we have stored this in our "blacklist".
Fuck the angbaos, weddings are never about breaking even or making a profit, to even receive anything is a true blessing. To us, we didn't want to scrimp and save on the silliest things. We saved enough to cover most expenses and i'm glad we splurged (within reason, of course!) We never wanted to look back and say "i wished i have done it differently".
Other than that, we were happy and touched by the amount of people who attended our wedding and wished us well. We wished that we had more time to catch up and talk. Thank you for making time to be there with us for our special occasion.
And yes, more pictures will be up once i've gotten my internet back.
To all future brides, have fun planning your wedding! And if you have any questions, please feel free to ask this "graduated" bride!
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