all de emotions.

and de saddest thing is tat i have already bought tickets to australia.

either i forfeit 250 or i still go over…

tink ill forfeit.

anyway ppl been trying to cheer me up. dun worry im calm. u wun ever see me breakdown.

anyway, gigi sent me cute links…

go see and make sure ur speakers are turned on..

watch both. in tat order.

wonder wat to tell my parents…

anyway. threw everything of his into a box and hid it somewhere except for ‘up to u’…

basically i seem de same outside. aside for a lil puffy eyes carefully concealed with eyecream and concealer, aside from de forced smiles and laughter, aside from my eyes seeming more wet then usual. (wrong english) and from a slight faded mark on my hand which used to hold his ring.

dun say anything. i juz wanna record how i felt.

july 29th 2003 – april 12th 2005.

tats it.

i give myself 3 months to get over him. as in smile normally. being happy. maybe i will neva forget him. after all he was the one i loved de most.

guess i was right abt us. so ironic.

i will miss his hugs, his kisses, his jokes, conversations with him, him calling me silly ger, him calling me dear and everything else.

but watever de case. i will get over him. perhaps a small portion of me will love him still but i would rather not.

as frens? i doubt. i will not want him as a fren now or perhaps forever till i get him out of my system.

move on i shall. coz i will neva get him back.

how does one move on after 20 months of bliss? after going thru almost everything together? i reallie dunno.

oh god. help me so. perhaps a rebound would be de best thing…

haha. NOT!