how many of us have been bitten by the green-eyed monster?
sometimes we are jealous. we envy.
we envy those who are born rich, being able to go overseas and study without having to earn one’s dough. envy the rich gadgets they are able to buy. envy the cars their father buys for them. envy the clothes they wear. envy the amount of money they have, the amount of money they can afford to splurge.
sometimes we envy physical beauty. those tight tummies, gorgeous long lengthy legs, beautiful dimples. great long silky hair, great beauty.
we envy love sometimes. looking at couples who are happy when oneself fails in numerous relationships. envy how they can find love everylasting and being so happy together. sometimes i envy those who managed to find someone else so fast after a failed relationship and i cant seem to do it no matter how hard i try.
sometimes we envy how happy they are. how they have found the ‘perfect’ job while we are stucked behind some desk doing some damn filing and data entry.
sometimes i would get bitten by the green eyed monster so bad that i would be so depressed. i would feel that life is unfair and that i hate my life.
but everytime when i do so, i stop myself.
so what if im not pretty, tall or slim? so what if im not rich and most probably have to study part-time in singapore? so what if my relationships never work?
i have so many things that i am so greatful for. i have friends who love me and care for me soooo much that i feel so bad shutting them out sometimes. i have the love of a great mum who gives me freedom and trust. i have worked my own keep and support my ownself. i have managed to secure a job that i love.
sometimes i tend to overlook the simple pleasures in life.
i would feel fat, ugly and short when comparing myself with my better looking friends or acquintances. i would feel dumb when out with a smarter friend who rattles off politics and world matters. i would feel poor when i see friends buying all branded goods that i would long for.
i try not to dwell on that. some people got more in life and some people will get less. and i have good working limbs (though short they may be), i got a good appetite (especially for cow) and i got a good job.
and thats whats important to me.
i love you guys. 🙂