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5 Things That Change Once You’ve Been Married

This is a Monday’s Musings – Random thoughts, feelings and musings by Yours Truly entry under my themed blog posts! For more info about this Singapore Lifestyle Blog themed blog posts, do read the entry here

I’ve been legally married for almost 2 years now but in the eyes of the chinese cheena folks, I’ve been legally married since 1st March only. ANYWAY, I realised from Dating to being Engaged to being Married, things changed quite a bit! This may differ from other married couples but it totally applies for me.


I’ll like to hear from other couples on things that have changed for you! Please do comment on this entry! Will add on those comments (and will credit) if it’s applicable to us too.

The 5 things will illustrate the change from dating to marriage. It isn’t counting the engagement process.

1. You Settle (Down).

A lot of couples become complacent. They nua, they take things for granted but it’s up to you to keep the romance alive. Don’t make the mistake of being complacent. I believe a relationship should have romance still. As I mentioned previously before, being married does not mean I stop paktoring.

I dare say that C(hubby) and I are still annoyingly sweet and sayang to each other. C(hubby) and I make a point to go out on dates all the time. We woo each other, we exchange sweet words, we surprise each other. Many relationships die off because they feel that there is no more “feeling” anymore. For many of our friends, (especially those with kids), they changed a lot. We hope that this won’t happen to us too. We want to be all sweet and tian mi mi as much as possible. And we still are. 65 months since we’ve been together, we try to spend every 21st together and so far we’ve been quite successful, at least 80% of the time?


2. Decision making.

Things are different now. Every decision you make can no longer be just about you. It could be small decisions like the girls asking you to hang out one weekend to big ones like buying an expensive item. For example, when the girls ask me out, I’ll always check with c(hubby) if we have any plans that weekend. My time is no longer just mine. It’s like a shared time table now. We may have joint plans and boy, will it get ugly if we both do not show any consideration towards each other.

In regards to expensive items, now that we’re married, we have to save for a lot of items. For example, we have just finished paying off the wedding dinner and honeymoon. If anyone of us decides to well buy something expensive now for an example, a second car for him, it would impact the both of us. How so? We’re getting our Punggol BTO sometime early next year. If he/I decide to take a loan, it’ll affect the housing and renovation loans that we’ll be taking up. It’s not that we both CAN’T buy any big ticket items, it’s just that we’ll need to discuss together about it first.

I.e. Be considerate and no irresponsible decisions.

3. You Start To Grow Up.

As the above reason, I realised that I can’t be irresponsible. Most of my decisions affect the both of us. I choose to take better care of my health because I want to be in the best of health to enjoy the rest of my life with him. And I do not want to burden my husband in future. And of course, I want to look good for him. I also recently met up with my Insurance agent cum Financial Planner to talk about the different policies I should be taking up. As most of you guys may know, I have turned 30. It’s important for me to start planning for the future. Critical illnesses, nest eggs and CPF investment. It’s very important to plan long term. My own parents do not have any policies and it’s so scary! Am considering getting some policies for them now. :/


4. Sex.

Boy, is this such a hard topic to write about. Reason being, I know that most people I work with, worked with, mum’s friends, mum know the existent of my blog. Alrighty, I’m married, I have sex. I ain’t gonna act like a virgin because I’m not. MUM PLEASE DON’T READ THIS!

Sex changes. It will definitely be different after marriage. For some, it becomes more meaningful, you make love instead of having mindless sex. While for others, their sex life may not exist anymore. I’ll be frank, of course before marriage, it’s different. It’s definitely more meaningful now. The intimacy and all. I am VERY attracted to him and I would like to think he thinks the same way about me. Quality > Quantity. LOLOLOL. For us, maybe we’re kinda still newly weds so things didn’t change much or have yet to change much. There are those married couples who have been married for eons might be able to share some thoughts on this. I think it’s important to keep the passion alive. That being said, sex is not everything.


5. You will always have a Player Two.

One thing that I loved about being married (or well, being in a relationship) is that I am hardly alone. I mean, I am alone at times but I no longer have to do things alone if I do not wish to. I love having company to do things together. I no longer have to do mundane stuff alone. Sorry c(hubby), you’ll have to do it with me. When I want to watch a sappy show, he follows me and wipes my tears away. I watch World Cup with him though it is too damn boring for me. Because I’m his Player Two. 😉

Do check out my other Monday’s Musings blog posts here:

Well, this is my Monday’s Musings entry. Sorry for the long wall of text! I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading this 5 Things That Change Once You’ve Been Married musing piece from me! Are there any other topics that you’ll like to hear from me? Do comment and I’ll muse about that 😉

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