that thing about “open” relationships?

about a year ago, when i was then venturing into my first long distance relationship, i was having doubts and insecurities on whether would the relationship work out at all.

a very good friend of mine then advised me to perhaps explore the possibilities of an “open” relationship.

when i heard that, my first reaction was “NO!“. wasnt that almost like cheating on yourself and the partner, i thought. i may have went out with other guys during the time he was away, but they meant nothing to me but just friends.

everyone needs companionship. and that is what will be lacking when one goes the ldr way. yes, you may have the msn messaging, sms-ing or perhaps long distance calls, but something else is missing in the relationship. you don’t get to see the person face to face, touch the person, hug or kiss.

to put it very simply, the physical and the emotional aspects are missing. and we’re just talking about hugs and kisses. (now you dirty perverts, no one is gonna talk about sex, so you can stop reading now!)

being physical with your partner is very important. or at least to me.

i am a very physical person (dont think crooked!). when i talk to my friends, i tend to touch them. perhaps a tap on the shoulder, a brief hold on the hand, a goodbye hug and perhaps a goodbye kiss on the cheek. i don’t shun away from these gestures of affection (unless its from someone i dettest or am not comfortable with) unlike some i know.

thus, when he went away, i felt void. something was terribly missing in my life. or at least temporarily missing (budden we broke up, so that’s another story altogether.) physically, i missed his hugs and kisses. emotionally, i missed him a hell lot. no wonder, some people mentioned tat being in a LDR is like being semi-attached.

though we still had our msn-conversations at least 5 times weekly, there was something missing. something felt wrong and i felt we were drifting apart. and we did.

would it be a different story if we had dated someone else? i don’t think so. in the end, instead of drifting apart from each other, we might instead be drifting apart to someone else.

i tested tiger about 10 minutes ago by testing waters by asking him if he was open (heh. pun intended) to an “open relationship”. thankfully, like me, he doesnt like to share. (he says, unless its with a hot chick, and if he gets to join in. -___-) we’ll only share with each other 🙂

now, tell me. what’s your take on these kind of relationships?


and erm tiger, heh. sorry for shocking you. and no, i’m not thinking of dating guys behind your back. *cough*

pls: please do not use that picture. commissioned work wor! i paid money for this drawing! Done by the lovely vonvonz.


  1. open relationship like the one Kenny has? no way! I’ve never even heard of the term till I read about his!

    nadnut: i havent read his story yet leh… shall go stalk today. hahahaa


  2. i absolutely agree. ‘open’ relationship can poison an existing one. perhaps people who have such relationships, do not truly love their already-existing partners? hhmm…

    as for LDR, i have and am currently experiencing one. its really difficult but somehow my oliphant and i managed to stay together. i also agree with the physical and emotional part of the relationship being missing. burying yourself in work sometimes help to ease the aching emptiness inside, but it’ll never truly go away till your loved one is back by your side. 🙂

    here is a small quote from the song, The Special Two by Missy Higgins:
    And we will only need each other, we’ll bleed together,
    Our hands would not be taught to hold another’s,
    When we were the special two.
    And we could only see each other, we’d bleed together,
    These arms will not be taught to need another,
    ‘Cause we were the special two.

    nadnut: that’s so sweet. 🙂


  3. I tried an open relationship and it definitely didn’t work for me. I don’t know, can one have the capacity to love someone else when they are already in a relationship?

    nadnut: true true. how can you give your heart to another when its with someone else right?


  4. Heh, heh. Wishing you and Tiger a long happy closed relationship. After all, we all know that there’s electricity only in a closed circuit.

    nadnut: lol! that’s an interesting take! thanks 😉


  5. i cannot deal with open relationships. it doesn’t make any sense for it to be even called a relationship! Anyway, i wish the both of you eternal happiness and many sweet memories.. =)

    nadnut: thanks sweetie! *hugs*