im still alive.
juz feel like being alone.
let me heal by myself yeah?
anyway i asked him to rethink over his decision within a months time for the sake of what was us and all we have been thru.
and i found out tat he mite not bother at all.
if u wun bother to try at all. why should i bother to be ur fren.
u took a few days to decide. cant u at least use a longer period to rethink? for de sake of what we went thru.
u asked us to be frens. u dun wanna lose my frenship after what we have been thru.
if u cant bother to try. then why should i?
and yes. i do block u at times. not that u will read my blog anymore.
why ask thru others? why not ask thru me?
as i said. if after all we have went thru, u wun bother to rethink. then i guess its wasnt enuf.
and it aint enuf for me to be ur fren.
pass me back my stuff when u get back. i wasted enuf time, love and money on u.
and u broke my heart forever.
life is damn fucked up sometimes. and u fucked it up for me. thanks and have a great life ahead.
no matter how much i go out with frens, and try to make myself so busy and happy so that i wont think of him. i cant. it just makes me feel even more lonely.
forgive me should one day i disappear. when u dun see me online. or perhaps i dun reply ur msns, ur calls, ur sms-es. when i dun blog. when i juz disappear.
coz i juz need time alone. alone in my fucked up life.
its like im fluctuating.
sometimes i feel sad, miserable and i miss him so much. sometimes i hate him so much. sometimes i juz feel numb. sometimes when i believe we will get back together. and sometimes i feel that im over him.
and everytime, i feel all de emotions again. juz tis week i felt that im over him.
then everything spilled over and i realised im not.
enuf! enuf with all these. i wished i neva met him b4. i wished i neva got together with him.
i should have believed those rumours. why couldnt i say no de last time?
they say its betta to have loved and lost then neva loved at all.
i rather have not loved him.
coz de memories are obviously not enuf for him.
and it has been a waste of my time on him.
someone told me tat it aint worth it to hate. but hey. i dun wanan be stucked pining over him for a year and not moving on.
not that i wanna be in a relationship. im scared. love doesnt last obviously.
i tot he was de one and i gave my heart to him 100% despite being hurt like fuck b4. was it worth it?
congrats, he has taken over to be de ex who hurt me de most. maybe i should get a trophy for him.
yes like i said. im switching from diff emotions.
god i feel depressed. maybe i should go for de hypnosis thing. anyway, frens who read my blog. when u see me, dun ask me abt tis. if u knoe me by now. i find it easier to express myself in words. like blogs/sms-es/msn chats.
i hate being like tis. why cant i be happy?
believe me i tried. almost 2 weeks has passed. 6 weeks to go. its great that work keeps me so bz that i dun have time to think. aside from de fact when i sell bangkok/genting packages, i tink of our times together. and de fact we were suppose to go batam when he gets back tis year.
it wasnt worth it.
i hate myself for being weak. yes, weak. with a capital W. make it all caps. WEAK.
sighz. too tired to continue ranting.
anyway, a pic...
tis is wat keeps me sane...
haha. salsa with peeps like tis 🙂 and yes. ah reh is wearing my geeky specs..