that thing about christmas….

i feel like the scrooge now. all that nonsense about christmas presents, xmas songs and all that falalalala. grrr. another reason why… i was passing by citigems and saw a BEAUUUUUTIFOOOOL diamond ring. 6 diamonds. and i saw the word SALE.

and i saw the words 50% OFF.

needless to say, i nearly hyperventilated and fainted. the ring was 488. before discount which means its an affordable 244 after discount. after all i just had my bonus. though pro-rated and rather pathetic…


went back office and was deliberating about it the whole day. and decided to do my accounts….

TMD! i spent a whooping 300 bucks (and counting!!!!!!!!!!!) on xmas gifts! NABEI! yes. I HATE XMAS! grrrr. why all those ppl gimme gifts! ppl whom im not close to at all!!! which means i need to buy them gifts!!!!!!!

there goes my bonus…. *sees money flying past me*

and there goes my BEAUUUUTIFOOOOL diamond ring. *sees diamond ring flies past me*

NABEI! TMD! I HATE CHRISTMAS AND PRESENTS! *goes into grumpy scrooge mood* for those dis-illusioned kids. heres the truth about santa.

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a friggin’ book so you can learn to read and write? I’m
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn’t they?


Dear Santa,

I don’t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I’d like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please ! see what you can do?

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.


Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid “Francis” nowadays? I bet you’re gay, I’ll set you
up with a Barbie.


Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of


Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.


Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re
awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck ! in
whatever you do. I’m skipping your house.


Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?



That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn’t work with me. You’re getting a sweater again.


Dearest Santa,

We don’t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky


First, stop calling yourself “Marky”, that’s why you’re getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don’t live in a house, you live in
a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

muahahahaha! merry xmas!

10 thoughts on “that thing about christmas….”

  1. nice santa jokes. Do ur own presents then. Can save some $

    Dear Santa,
    Can I get a nice diamond ring this year?
    yours sincerely nadnut.

    Dear nadnut,
    No ring for you nadnut. You have been a bad bad girl this year who goes around stealing corks.
    CCB Santa.


  2. Dear Santa

    Can I get a nice deer this year?

    Yours hungrily

    Dear Tiger,
    Due to the fact you have been a VERY naughty tiger. You shall get a very Naughty cork stealing deer.

    Yours predatorily,


  3. Oh man! your wishlist got no hugs…..*eyes to heaven* very sorry your xmas spendings have run you down. New year and CNY will see another sale along with angpows, so relac and take a breather first! In the meantime, another steak dinner, ok? hahahaa…to celecbrate something! tell u next time! 🙂


  4. Perhaps you should refrain from giving presents to people whom you’re not close to 🙂

    How about asking your buddies to combine their money to buy you that $244 jewellery?

    Your Santa Claus story is really funny 😀 Ha, ha, ha… 😀


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