I the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons

(1) I do physical labour

(2) I work at great depths

(3) I plunge head first into everything I do

(4) I do not get weekends or public holidays off

(5) I work in a damp environment

(6) I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

(7) I work in high temperatures

My work exposes me to contagious diseases!


Dear Penis
After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
reject for the following reasons;

(A) You do not work 8 hours straight

(B) You fall asleep after a brief work periods

(C) You do not always follow the orders of the managements team

(D) You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations

(E) You do not take intiative,you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

(F) You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift

(G) You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing

(H) You will retire well before you are 65

(I) You are unable to work double shifts

(J) You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned

(K) And if that were not all, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious looking bags.

The Management

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