interesting….
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of
arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife
gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that
towel that you have on.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800
dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune,
the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “Did h! e say anything about the $800 he
owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road,
he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember Psalm
129?” The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced
himself to remove his hand.
Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” Once again the
priest apologized, “Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful
glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129.
It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story:
Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great
opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking
to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give
each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
In astonishment, “Me next! Me next!” says thesales rep. “I want to
be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after
lunch.”
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?”
The crow answered, “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All
of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got
the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the
bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree.
Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there for
long.
Corporate Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the w! inter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on
it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began
to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
interesting but true wor?
n^D
