my boss has this poster hanging in our office…
and here are the rules…
This is not allowed under any circumstances. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof of illness. If you can walk to your doctor, you can certainly get to work.
2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION
This practice must stop from today. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have and you should not consider having any thing removed. We hired you as you are and ti have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN
You must arrange to attend all funerals very late in the day after your work is done. Providing this is adhered to, we will consider letting you go 1 hour earlier. Please be sure to put this in writing.
4. DEATH, YOUR OWN
This is acceptable as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. Treat this point as important.
5. PERSONAL HYGIENE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the loo. In the future, you wull follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance those with surnames beginning with “A” will be allowed to go from 9 – 9.05 and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, you must wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
6. QUANTITY OF WORK
No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough. If you disagree, please see your shop steward/supervisor.
7. QUALITY OF WORK
The minimum acceptable level is perfection at all times
8. ADVICE FROM OWNER
Eat a live frog the first thing in the morning and you will be hopping around all day and certainly nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT
Even in his/her absence.
10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.
lol. and sometimes my boss will tell me to refer to rule 9… lol.